Life As Is

The bus ride

 

Few weeks into the school routine, I can safely say it’s all going well. The usual loss of pencil every other day, missing colour pencils, missing erasers, missing aikido belt, missing socks… things I have predicted coming. But I have prepared myself mentally that my son is in the process of adapting with so many new things, as with Mr hubs and I too. I was at the PTA meeting (and parenting talk the school organized for parents throughout the year) last weekend, and I see parents who can be a little bit pushy, parents who wants things done their way, parents who felt things should be done a different way, parents who want immediate results – just because they are paying some amount to send their kids to the school. But Alhamdulillah, there aren’t many like that, and the school, with their own Khalifah method applied, I’m sure can get through all the hurdles wisely.

 

I, only requested for the teacher to ensure kids drink lots of water throughout the day to avoid getting dehydrated (since they stay at school 8 hours a day, some days more). Imtiyaz drinks cold water at home, so when it’s not cold, he needs some encouragement to drink up. It bothers me when his urine is not clear when he comes home. I know children tends to ‘forget’ a lot of things when they are surrounded by friends. Too busy playing, too busy to remember mama’s note to drink lots and lots of water.

 

The girl, on the other hand, is getting too cheeky these days. What’s not to love about a toddler that age? Walks non-stop, babbles her own language and able to imitate people already! She can understand simple instructions like sit, stand, mandi and laughs when we make funny faces at her. Night time routine has pretty much established, with her settling in her room the same time as her brother – so yes, Mr. Hubs and I do get our own time at 9pm every single night now, which is really a dream come true.

 

 

Boo!

I was told so many times that Hanan is a splitting image of Boo, from Monsters inc.

 

 

I really should try tying her hair like that!

 

 

Curious Minds

Having brought up by someone who had formal education of Islam, I have had the luxury of asking questions about everything my young logical mind can’t accept. Truthfully, I don’t know the details of my father’s education, work, etc and only roughly know bits and pieces of it – the things that he had told me before.

 

My father lived in Makkah since he was of secondary school age, excelled at the University of Al-Azhar with a first class honours degree and emerged as the best international student when he was there. He did his Ph.D in Scotland, (if I’m not mistaken in Islamic Civilization), whom his tutor back then was not even a muslim, but recited and understood the Quran more than a muslim does. Completing Ph.D in the early 70s was tough without the internet, he even had to go to Vatican City himself to get a copy of a document for his research. He speaks flawless arabic, and one of the things I loved to do back then was eavesdrop when he was talking the language with his friends, eventhough I did not understand almost all of it.

 

At times I do wonder why my father was not as strict as some of his friends who was in the same field. I wasn’t asked to put on the hijab until I wanted to. I remembered I am still allowed to hold the Quran without wudhu’. I was allowed to participate in school performances. I can wear what other youngsters wore at that time. Things that most people in our community felt it was wrong to do, especially if one’s dad was an ustaz, or someone that’s supposed to be religious. When I got the only B in my PMR for islamic studies, he just laughed it off, and had no shame when his friends asked him. Obviously to him, B is just on paper. What’s built up inside (faith) is more important. I guess his experiences, his surroundings, the people he gained knowledge from, made him the man he was.

 

Now that I’m a grown up and have a son as curious as I am, I am slowly starting to understand. These things do come with reasons. Like I’m allowed to hold the Quran without wudhu’ – it is good to be able to do so, but it is not compulsary. I have to agree with this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGBornAuY3Y. Good explanation, and to me, if it is made compulsary, and someone wants to read it on the way to work on the LRT for example, I’m sure it’ll just stop him from doing so – because he doesn’t have wudhu’! As for participating in school performances, way of dressing, donning the hijab – I believe he wanted me to experience life as everyone else did, whilst slowly telling me what is required in Islam, as the after-effect of being deprived would be worse, I’m sure. Besides, anything done drastically will only have a short term effect, right?

 

Trust me, my mind unintentionally became so active as it is now. Just because the boy comes up with unthinkable questions every so often, I had to come up with my own version of unthinkable questions too!

 

I do notice there is a difference in the way of teaching when someone is well-versed and have done numerous years of research about Islam, compare to those who only learnt a little and considered themselves qualified. Those who knows little tend to be more rigid, and gives illogical reasoning and focuses more on the things that we can actually do without. I have heard so many different opinions lately and it triggered a lot of questions on a lot of issues. At this point of time, I chose to just continue what I have learnt, believed and practiced since young and at the same time do more readings and gather as much information as I can.

 

And yes, this made me miss him even more. Especially now when I need so much guidance to answer my own curious mind and also the little ones’ challenging questions.

 

 

 

p.s. The boy asked me the other day why he needs to wash certain parts of his body (wudhu’) to solat, when he’s already clean n just stepped out of the shower. I had to google to find the best answer for him!

When You’re Up, You’re Up

 

Life is just like when you are on the London Eye. When you’re up, you’re up. When you’re down, you’re down.

 

As much as I like to always be in the mid section – not too high, and not too low, there is no way I’m going to get it. Unless of course, if I go on the carousel instead – a little too safe for an adult, don’t you think? *winks*

 

 

Monday Blues

… cured!

 

The Start of 2012

Alhamdulillah, it has been a good start to the new year. The boy has started school without much drama and he seems to enjoy it with no complaints. Our planned routine went much better than expected too -  boy goes to school by LRT with the hubs on the way to work and I got permission from the management to move my lunch hour forward to be able to pick him up in the evening. Timing-wise has also been accurate these 3 days, I can’t possibly ask for a better arrangement. I believe it’s also a good practise for the boy as he gets to enjoy the view and the rides whilst asking lots of questions along the way, rather than getting sleepy in the car.

 

Hanan has also started sleeping in her own room when she turned 1 year old last December. It was much easier than expected as she has been sleeping in her own cot all these while, so it was just a matter of moving it to another room. I believe it’d be much tougher if I were to move her into her cot AND a different room at the same time. She has been sleeping really well and only wakes up once for her night feed, and will fall asleep again right after. Hubs and me wakes up much fresher these days, which is really what we needed most to get us going for the busy day ahead.

 

A good start, and I pray for better days, insyaAllah.

 

 

Realization

Personally, I always felt informal learning leaves more of an impact. Look around, and I’m sure there is something new that you’ll learn every single day.

 

It hit me just this month, that my boy is moving on to a different phase already. His behaviour, his questions, his defence mode, his sensitivity – made some turn recently. He is still very much his gentle, non-aggressive self, but becoming more defensive at times – even with words. There will be times he will question why someone else is getting different treatment, or another person gets to buy something that we feel is not of benefit to him at the moment.

 

Just this morning, I had to explain to him to not always see people who are more fortunate than he is, instead look at those people who had none. It was tough finding the right words to suit his young mind and interpretation, but he managed to appear cheerful again just before we reached my mum’s place. I hope I made it clear to him that one does not have to have everything that money can buy just to have fun. By using what’s available around him too, he can have all the fun in the world.

 

It’s a material world, no doubt. He sees people having everything, he assumes they have money. He questioned when his Babah would have lots of money too. What he doesn’t know was, those people with everything not necessarily have money, and those without might even have more. But of course it is too early to start explaining on credit cards and debts, no? Maybe it’s gentler to start educating on wants and needs, instead. A gentle reminder from the Babah though - even if we have lots of money, it does not mean we need to spend it all. It’s not good to just have something for the sake of having it. We need to make sure we really, really need it.

 

My boy is growing up fast, and we have to catch up and twist our way to be able to cope with his demands. He’s learning from us, and we are learning so much more from him.